10 Ways to Support a Loved One Struggling with Infertility
In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW), I wanted to shine some light on the struggles of countless individuals and couples on their journey to parenthood.
WHAT IS INFERTILITY?
Infertility refers to the difficulty to conceive a child after one year of unprotected intercourse (for couples under 35 years old) or six months for couples over 35. It can also refer to the inability to carry a pregnancy to full term. Infertility can affect both men and women and may be caused by a variety of factors, including hormonal imbalances, reproductive system disorders, lifestyle factors, and age-related issues. Infertility can be temporary or permanent and may require medical intervention, such as fertility treatments, to overcome. It can be a deeply emotional and challenging experience for individuals and couples, impacting their mental health, relationships, and overall well-being.
Witnessing a loved one struggle with infertility can be challenging. You want to provide support, but you may not always know the right words or actions. In times like these, gestures of empathy and understanding can make a world of difference. As a mental health therapist, I've seen the immense impact that support from friends and family can have on individuals and couples navigating the journey of infertility. Here are ten ways you can support your loved one during this difficult time.
LISTEN WITHOUT JUDGMENT
Sometimes, all your loved one needs is a listening ear. Create a safe space where they can share their thoughts, fears, and frustrations without fear of judgment. Validate their emotions and offer empathy and compassion, letting them know that you're there for them, no matter what.
2. EDUCATE YOURSELF
Take the time to educate yourself about infertility. Learn about the different causes, treatments, and emotional aspects involved. Understanding the challenges your loved one is facing will help you offer more meaningful support.
3. OFFER PRACTICAL ASSISTANCE
If your loved one is undergoing infertility treatments, that can be physically and emotionally draining. Offer practical assistance such as running errands, cooking meals, or helping with household chores. Even small gestures can make a big difference in easing their burden.
4. RESPECT THEIR PRIVACY
Respect your loved one's privacy and boundaries regarding their fertility journey. Avoid asking invasive questions. Questions about their medical history, treatments, or intimate details of their attempts to conceive can feel intrusive and may exacerbate feelings of discomfort or embarrassment. Let them share as much or as little as they're comfortable with, and always respect their choices.
5. BE MINDFUL OF TRIGGERS
Certain situations, such as baby showers or pregnancy announcements, can be triggering for someone struggling with infertility. Be mindful of these triggers and offer your support in navigating them. Sometimes, a simple acknowledgment of their feelings can go a long way.
6. OFFER EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
Infertility can take a toll on mental health. Be a source of emotional support for your loved one by offering encouragement, reassurance, and validation. Let them know that it's okay to feel what they're feeling and that you're there to support them through it all.
7. AVOID OFFERING UNSOLICITED ADVICE
While your intentions may be good, offering unsolicited advice can be hurtful to someone struggling with infertility. Instead of giving advice, offer your empathy, understanding, and a listening ear. Sometimes, your presence and support are all they need.
8. CELEBRATE NON-TRADITIONAL MILESTONES
Celebrate the milestones in your loved one's life that may not be traditionally associated with parenthood. Whether it's a job promotion, a personal achievement, or simply making it through a difficult day, acknowledge and celebrate their victories with them.
9. BE PATIENT AND UNDERSTANDING
Infertility is a complex and often unpredictable journey. Be patient and understanding with your loved one, especially during times of emotional upheaval. Let them know that it's okay to have good days and bad days, and that you're there for them no matter what.
10. ENCOURAGE SELF-CARE
Encourage your loved one to prioritize self-care during their fertility journey. Whether it's practicing mindfulness, engaging in hobbies, or seeking professional support, remind them to take care of their physical and emotional well-being. Encourage them to prioritize themselves and their needs.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Supporting a loved one struggling with infertility requires empathy, understanding, and patience. By offering your unconditional support, respecting their boundaries, and being there for them through the ups and downs, you can make a meaningful difference in their journey. Remember, your presence and support matter more than you may realize.
